Vacation: GOTTA Get Away
by d-E-a-D-12349876-a-C-c-O-u-N-t
Summary: This is the sequel to Vacation: All I NEVER Wanted! Again, do not be offended by this story. I do not know the category, so please review to say what you think. If you like Orihime, and do not think that she is a BIG HOE, don't read this! Have fun reading
1. One year Later

** CHAPTER 1:**

** ONE YEAR LATER...**

"So... Ichigo," Rukia began, hiding the pamphlet that had brought them so close.

"What?" Ichigo said, trying to look behind her back.

"Wanna go to the hot spring again? Captain Ukitake said that because everyone enjoyed it so much, that we could go back. I'll only go if you do, though," Rukia said, hoping that he would say yes.

"Why would I not want to go back?" Ichigo asked, remembering that very much enjoyable weekend.

"Great! I already told Byakuya-nee sama about it and he said that he'll go too. Actually, it was more like, 'I'll go because you need to have someone watching you. We wouldn't want you to get hurt now, would we? I could have Renji go, but I cannot trust him. He's too irresponsible. Now, I shall ask the Magic Conch what to do next! OH MAGIC CONCH, WHAT SHOULD I DO!?' And then, it said, 'shut up, you aluminum-wearing, babbling boy!'" Rukia said.

"Oh..."

"What are you guys talking about?" Uryu asked as he and Chad walked up.

"We're going to the hot spring again! Are you guys going to come?" Rukia asked excitedly.

"Yeah! Wait, will Nemu be there?" Uryu asked. He and Nemu had a secret meeting place. It was funny, because it seemed as if Nemu got a bit of a sense of humor.

"I think..." Rukia answered.

"Yup. I'm coming."

"And you, Chad?" Rukia asked.

"Nah. I'm going to Mexico to be a masked wrestler. I really think that I can do a good job at it," Chad answered.

"Okayyy..." Rukia, Ichigo, and Uryu all said in unison.

"Did you say a hot spring?" Kisuke Urahara asked.

"I like hot springs," Yoruichi Shihoin said.

"Are you guys going to come?" Ichigo asked, remembering when he had been relaxing in a hot spring and Yoruichi had ruined it. "I feel for you, Hat-n'-Clogs."

"Of course! I wouldn't miss a visit to a hot spring," Kisuke said.

"We went last year," Uryu said.

"WHAT?!" Kisuke practically screeched.

"I guess we can just catch up," Yoruichi said, looking at Kisuke.

"EEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!! Old people love!" Ichigo and Rukia both said.

"Captain! Ya wanna go to the hot spring again?" Rangiku asked.

Toshiro and Momo were about to kiss when they both were surprised by Rangiku's voice. "What?! You mean we have to go again?" Toshiro whined.

"I'd like to go again, Shiro-chan," Momo stated.

"So when do we get to go?" Toshiro immediately changed his mind.

"Great!" Momo and Rangiku both smiled.

"Nanao-chan, do you wanna go to that wonderful hot spring with the wonderful scenery?" Shunsui asked, looking at his lieutenant.

"I think that's a good idea, Captain," Nanao answered.

"You're only to call me 'Captain' in the office when everybody's here," Shunsui stated.

"And?" Nanao inquired.

"I don't think anyone's here."

"Shunsui, you slay me," Nanao smiled.

"Ken-chan! Can we go to the hot spring again?" Yachiru asked. "I'm sure Ichi'll be there."

"Heh. I finally get a rematch with him," Kenpachi laughed.

"Is Yumi-chan coming?" Yachiru asked.

"Why do you care?" Kenpachi asked.

"Cause I want him to make my face glow!" Yachiru answered.

"Whatever..."

"Mayuri-sama, Is it okay if I go to the hot spring?" Nemu asked.

"Sure," Mayuri answered.

Gin had eventually decided to go back to Hueco Mundo. He had sneaked away, and Rangiku didn't want to spend the time looking for him. He'd just run away, right?

"Sosuke-kun!" Orihime the BIG HOE called to her very evil, yet very hot boyfriend.

"Yes, Orihime-chan?" Aizen asked.

"You know that hot spring that we went to last year?"

"Yes..."

"I hear that the Shinigami are going again this year! I think that it would be a good idea to go there so that we can finally go through with your evil plan," the BIG HOE answered.

"I love your evil mind," Aizen said seductively.

_What is Aizen's new plan? Will this hot spring adventure be just as interesting? Do you like the sequel? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA Get Away"_

_Author's Note: I'm not for sure if I want to make this story crack or funny? Please review to give me your answer. Also, if you have an idea for a chapter, feel free to comment. I do not own BLEACH. Thanks! I hope this story will be as successful as the other one =D_


	2. Obama returns

**CHAPTER 2:**

** OBAMA RETURNS**

"By the way, Sosuke-kun," Orihime started.

"Yes, my love?" Aizen asked in a sickly-sweet tone.

"Where's Tosen?"

"Ummm..." Come to think of it, Aizen hadn't seen him anywhere...

At that moment, the door swung open to reveal none other than Barrack Obama! Dun...Dun...DUN!!!

"Tosen! My good buddy, my old pal, how have you been? You know, it's been a year since I've seen you," Aizen said, looking over Tosen's clothes: shredded. Tosen's hair: messy. His glasses: gone.

"I never knew being president could be that hard..." Tosen muttered. "I'm just glad to be away from there! I will never go back there! They're like savages!"

"Guess what?" Aizen asked.

"What?" was Tosen's reply.

"We're going back tomorrow."

"meep!" Tosen knew that Aizen was evil, but how could someone be that evil?

"Get you fake I.D card!" Aizen ordered.

Gin looked out the window. "Why me? Why did I leave? Can't I go back to Ran-chan? No, because I'm George Bush! That's why!" Gin complained.

"Shut up!" Aizen said, slapping Gin.

_Why is Tosen such a tortured soul? Does Gin want to see Rangiku? Is Orihime still a BIG HOE!? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA GET AWAY!"_


	3. Reunited and it don't feel good!

**CHAPTER 3: **

**REUNITED AND IT DON'T FEEL GOOD! **

"I'll see you later, Sosuke-kun!" The BIG HOE called as she walked out of their room.

"Good bye!" Aizen called.

_It'll be so nice to see Kurosaki-kun after all this time! I bet that he can't stop thinking about me. I mean, who couldn't?_ BIG HOE vainly thought as she walked down to the lobby.

"Um... could you tell me which room number is Ichigo Kurosaki's?" she asked.

"Why yes! It's room 318, I think that that was his room last year!" the receptionist answered. When she finished, Orihime was already gone. "BIG HOE!!!" she called after Orihime.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime giggled as she knocked on Ichigo's door. "I can't wait to see his face!"

"Orihime?!" Ichigo's words choked on his mouth.

"It's good to see you again, too!" Orihime said.

"Who is it, Ichigo? ORIHIME!?" Rukia asked as she immediately got into a fighting stance.

"Ooh... I'm so scared of the midget... Oh help! I think she's gonna push me! Or-" Hoeihime was stopped as Rukia slapped her across the face. (Oh, dear... did I call her Hoeihime? I accidentally forgot to apologize...)

"TAKE THAT, YA BIG HOE!!!" Rukia yelled. Orhime punched her in the gut.

"HA! BET YA WEREN'T EXPECTIN' THAT!" Orihime proudly declared as she dodged Rukia's kick.

Rukia easily rebound with a head-but in the back. "DIDN'T THINK THAT I WOULD DO THAT, DID YOU?!" Rukia mocked Orihime.

"Oh... it's go time..." Orihime said as she ripped off part of Rukia's dress. "POLYESTER! I KNEW IT!!!

Rukia pulled Orihime's hair and ripped part of it off.

"Tsubaki! I REJECT!" Orihime called as she sent Tsubaki flying at Rukia. Rukia's eyes widened.

"Not so fast," Rukia said as she shot Tsubaki with a Shakuho.

"You can have my hairpins! They don't match my outfit!" Orihime said as she was about to throw them but stopped. "Never mind."

"YOU LEFT YOUR GUARD OPEN!" Rukia yelled as she charged at Orihime.

"Please, please," a very different voice said. Rukia and Orihime looked up to see Hichigo Shirosaki. "BIG HOE, do not touch my queen."

"This isn't over! I'll find a way to make Kurosaki-kun mine!" Orihime yelled as she limped off.

"She won't be back," Hichigo said as he looked at Rukia. "You are vicious. I like..."

_Will the BIG HOE be back? Will she rip another part of Rukia's dress? Why didn't Ichigo stop them? Find out now:_

"Ichigo," Rukia asked.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you stop Orihime?"

"Because I didn't want to die... You+Orihime+Fight=Death to a certain strawberry if he gets involved," Ichigo answered.

"Oh..." Rukia didn't understand, but that was okay... until she gets into another fight with Orihime.

_Do you understand? Do I understand? Is Uryu still in love with Nemo? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA Get Away."_


	4. The cat and the hat

**CHAPTER 4:**

** THE CAT IN THE HAT**

"I love hot springs!" Yorouichi stated as she looked lovingly at Kisuke. Behind closed doors, they had actually been a couple for quite some time...like Soi Fong would ever know that...

"As do I, Yorouichi," Kisuke agreed, taking off his hat. (If you haven't noticed, Kisuke looks,like, twenty years younger without that thing)

Just as he was about to put it on, Yorouichi said, "You're too sexy for your hat, keep it off. I think it makes you look younger..." (See? She gets what I'm saying!)

"Really? I always thought that it looked kinda cool... but whatever," Kisuke placed his hat on the table in their room.

"You know, if Soi Fong ever found out about us, she'd either try to kill you for the rest of her life, or she might just have a heart attack and die," Yorouichi laughed.

Just then the door burst open. "Y-YOROUICHI-SAMA?! I- WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!" Soi Fong asked, foam starting to seep from her mouth. "Urahara! I should've known that you would be here!"

"Soi Fong! I-" Yorouichi was about to discipline her disciple, but Kisuke was already approaching Soi Fong. "What the-" Yorouichi started, then stopped, realizing what he had planned.

"Why, Soi Fong, you look absolutely...defined. I must say, almost to that of Yorouichi's standards..." Kisuke said in a very seductive tone. Both Yorouichi and Soi Fong were surprised at the tricks that he could come up with.

"U-Urahara I..." Soi Fong's voice trailed off, blushing at the thought of Kisuke. (No, I am not for Kisuke and Soi Fong, he is merely seducing her so that he and Yorouichi can be alone.)

"Yes?" he asked in a very sweet tone.

"I see why Yorouichi-sama is so madly in love with you!"

"I see... then would you kindly leave me and Yorouichi alone? It would be so 'defined' of you," Kisuke didn't know what he was saying, he just knew that Soi Fong liked that word... a lot...

"No! I will follow you to the ends of the earth, Kisuke-sama! It's obvious that you have a thing for me, so I must follow you and Yorouichi-sama wherever you may go. Although, didn't you like Yorouichi-sama?" Soi Fong asked.

"You think I... have a 'thing' for you?" Kisuke asked, surprised that his seducing plan didn't go as well as he thought it would.

"Of course! Why would you speak to me in such a manner if you didn't?"

"I-I I don't-" Kisuke stammered.

"You must like me," Soi Fong insisted.

"HE DOESN'T HAVE A HACKIN' THING FOR YOU, HE HAS A HACKIN' THING FOR ME!!!" Yorouichi yelled, throwing a very baffled Soi Fong out of the room.

"Eh heh heh..." Kisuke laughed nervously as he looked at Yorouichi.

"You aren't meant for seducing, Kisuke..." Yorouichi said before turning out the lights.

_Why is Soi Fong so crazy? Why haven't I written in forever? Why am I sorry? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA Get Away."_


	5. WAFFLES!

**CHAPTER 5:**

**WAFFLES!!!**

"Welp, I'll see you you later, Captain!" Rangiku called as she headed out the door.

"Do you like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles. Do you like pancakes? Yeah, I like pancakes..." Rangiku sang merrily as she walked down the hallway to a nice hot bath.

Gin looked at Rangiku. "I wish I could tell her that I still care, but... I just can't..."

"WAFFLES!!! WAFFLES!!! WAFFLES!!!" Rangiku sang another part of the song and sighed. "I remember Gin teaching me that song...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"Now, Ran-chan," a young Gin told his friend as she looked at him wide-eyed._

_"What is it, Gin?" she asked._

_"I'm gonna teach you a new song. It's really pretty, and I think you might like it..." he replied._

_"Yea! How does it go?" she asked._

_"Alright, when I ask a question, you say,'Yeah, I like...' but remember, it has to be the same thing as what I say," he carefully instructed her so that she could not get lost during the song. "Do you like waffles?" he began._

_"Yeah, I like waffles," she wasn't for sure, but she liked the song anyway.._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That idiot," Rangiku muttered under her breath as she stepped into the hot bath. "Oh yeah..."

Gin looked at her. Should he go over there and possibly get a big can of butt-whoop, or should he stay in hiding and possibly get to live to see tomorrow? It wasn't a hard choice, but Gin made one careless mistake...

Rangiku noticed the strong riatsu emitting from the bushes. Was there a Peeping Tom? Maybe it was Shuhei? Or Kira? Maybe Renji had a thing for her... "Come out here!" she demanded. Gin's back stiffened.

"Crap... I forgot to seal my riatsu... Nah...at least it's better than watching Aizen and his BIG HOE make out..." Gin said.

Rangiku noticed the riatsu after a while. When all seemed to calm down a bit, Rangiku crept to the bushes to where Gin couldn't see her. "Do you like waffles?" she asked in a very eerie tone.

"Yeah, I like waffles?" he said questionably.

"Do you like pancakes?" the eerie voice asked again.

"Yeah, I like pancakes," maybe this wasn't so bad.

"Do you like pain?" the voice asked in the same tone to trick him.

"Yeah, I like pain," Gin said absentmindedly. "Wait-"

"WAFFLES!!! WAFFLES!!!" Rangiku shouted as she tackled Gin. "Gotcha..." she snickered.

"Please don't kill me..." Gin begged as he said his final prayers.

"Why would I do that? I mean, all you did was leave me when I thought that we could work our relationship out... All you did was leave me for Aizen... the cornerstone of evil... But that doesn't matter..." Rangiku mocked him, but then, she hugged him. "I'll let you live if you promise not to leave again."

"Done!" Gin wanted life, and heck, it came with a bonus! Ran-chan!

"But if you ever leave me again, then I'll have your head on a silver platter with a side of waffles," she threatened.

"I like waffles..." Gin smiled.

"Me, too," Rangiku agreed. And then they both sang that "Waffle Song" all the night while doing...that...

_Do you know the "Waffle Song?" Do you like pancakes? Do you think Gin's head would go good on a side of waffles? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA Get Away."_


	6. NEMO STRIKES BACK!

**CHAPTER 6:**

** NEMO STRIKES BACK!!!**

"I miss Nemo..." Uryu remarked as he sat down on his bed. It had been a whole year, but he still hadn't forgotten the beautiful girl who had stolen his innocence. He sighed slightly thinking about her. "I wonder if she's here..."

In fact, Nemu was in the lobby. She had gotten to the hot spring rather late. She looked at her "Uryu Tracker" and saw that he was in his room. She had done more than steal his innocence...

She walked slowly down the hallway, the _Jaws_ music playing in the background. She turned the corner, and Uryu's head popped up from his pillow. He could sense her riatsu. She was getting closer! He grabbed his blanket and got into a fetal position, all the while sucking his thumb and screaming like a banshee. His door opened, and the _Pycho_ music played loudly. Uryu screamed louder.

"What the heck?!" Nemu shrieked when Uryu screamed. She rubbed her ear gently, trying to see if she could still hear.

"Oh, sorry about that, Nemo..." Uryu calmed down. He looked at her.

"WHAT? I COULDN'T HEAR YOU! SPEAK LOUDER!" she called. She seriously couldn't hear him. Uryu blushed.

"I SAID, 'OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT, NEMO..." Uryu yelled in her ear. He got in return a whack to the face.

"You didn't have to yell..." she mumbled under her breath. She tried to conceal her "Uryu Tracker" beeping loudly. Uryu looked at her questionably. She blushed as well.

"What's tha- Wait! Never mind, I really don't wanna know, do I?" he asked. Nemu shook her head violently.

"It's nothing. Anyway, I'm surprised that you actually came back to this place. And by the way, my name is Nemu. Say it with me now, NEMU..." she said, trying to make him understand. What he said next made her jaw drop open, tongue roll onto the floor, and her eyes pop out of her head. (Okay not really, but that would be kinda cool/freaky...)

"Right. I'll keep that it mind, Nemo. Soooo..." his voice dragged on. "You wanna do it again?" he asked hopefully. Nemu stared at him in disbelief. Did he seriously just ask her to do him again. She had done it the first time to see if she could "reproduce a Quincy" as her father had put it, and now he wants to do it again?!

"Yes..." she said after a while. Why was she saying this? She didn't have to, but did she want to? Was she falling in love? Not with this air-headed Quincy. But it was happening. And, in the words of Dr. Seuss, her "_...heart grew three sizes that day..._" She leaned in for a kiss, and at first Uryu was surprised, but he immediately shut the heck up.

_Ewww...nerd love...Anywho, If Nemu's heart grew that much, did it explode? Did Nemu conceive? Did they have waffles the next morning for breakfast? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation" GOTTA Get Away."_

_Author's note: Sorry I haven't written in forever! Anyway, I give all BLEACH rights to Tite Kubo, all Jaws rights to Peter Benchley, all Psycho rights to Robert Bloch, and all How the Grinch Stole Christmas! rights to Dr. Seuss (__Theodor Seuss Geisel ) Please tell me if I have the wrong names. Thatnks for reading!_


	7. Pressing Flowers

**CHAPTER 7:**

**PRESSING FLOWERS **

**(as in, when you press a flower in a book and they get all dry and crunchy...)**

Nanao looked questionably at her Captain who was pressing flowers into a very big book. It was filled with a very big variety of flowers. He looked up at her and smiled happily. Nanao rolled her eyes and asked,"Captain, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm pressing flowers, my lovely Nanao-chan! It's fun to keep them all in good condition for at least a while, don't ya think?" he replied, closing the book and standing up.

"But sir, _why_ do you press flowers in books? They only dry up after about a week. There's no point in it," she argued, staring at his book.

"Well, everybody has a hobby. Like, Lisa-chan enjoyed spying on our meetings. So, what do you enjoy to do? You know, some people are like stalkers and take pictures of the people that they like when they're asleep. Isn't that creepy?" he asked, and Nanao tensed up.

"Yes sir! That's very creepy, and I couldn't imagine anyone in their right mind doing anything like that!" she quickly agreed. Hey, she wasn't lying. When he was asleep, she wasn't in her right mind! She just had to take pictures of the cuteness that is Shunsui Kyoraku.

Shunsui laughed and sighed. "Has anyone ever done anything like that to you?" he asked, staring at his nervous wreck of a lieutenant.

"I ADMIT!!! IT'S ME, SIR!!! I TAKE PICTURES OF YOU EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU CLOSE YOUR BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES!!! I CONFESS!!! I'M SO SORRY! I KNOW I'M A DISGRACE AND LISA WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS!!! I'M TO BLAME!!! I'M" she was cut off by Shunsui putting his finger over her mouth. He just stared at her.

"Okay....... that was really awkward..." he said after a while. "I didn't know your hobby was quite so...involved..."

Nanao sighed, but smiled when Shunsui smiled at her. "I'm sorry..." she said. "It's just that, everyone has a hobby, and you're really... you know, hot..." she admitted, hanging her head down.

"You know, you could try pressing flowers," he suggested.

"Can I try pressing you?" she asked hopefully.

"No."

"Okay..."

"Sure..."

"You wanna make out?"

"Yes!" (as in Fred Fredburger)

And that's how their night ensued. And not a single flower was pressed that night...

_Why do I ask all these questions? Why do I never answer them? Do you even care? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA Get Away."_


	8. The Morning After

**CHAPTER 8:**

**THE MORNING AFTER**

Everyone walked down to the lobby for a nice, warm breakfast. _Everyone_ was there. Ichigo, Rukia, Byakuya, Uryu, Nemu, Shunsui, Nanao, BIG HOE, Rangiku, Gin, Toshiro, Momo, Kenpachi, Yachiru, Yumichika, Ikkaku, Aizen, Obama, Kisuke, Yoruichi, and Soi Fon. They all sat down to a big breakfast of WAFFLES!!!

Rangiku smiled at her plate and looked over at Gin. Toshiro looked at them for a while, but then turned his attention back to Momo. The BIG HOE was sitting with Aizen and Obama. No one really noticed that the evilest guy in Hueco Mundo was sitting at a breakfast table with them.

Byakuya looked up from his plate and said,"We all should be thankful for this wonderful meal. Think about the Pilgrims. How was their waffles for breakfast? Oh yeah! THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY!!! THE INDIANS TOOK THEM ALONG WITH THEIR WOMEN AND CHILDREN! (no offense to anyone with an Indian Heritage) I LOVE WAFFLES!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT-" Byakuya was interrupted by Rukia throwing a bottle of maple syrup at his head. She glared daggers at the crazy man that she called a brother.

Ichigo laughed at Byakuya, but stopped when Kenpachi glared. Ichigo dreaded what he was going to say next. "Hey Ichigo, how 'bout me and you have a real man-to-man fight?" Kenpachi sneered, and Ichigo quivered behind Rukia. Rukia glared at Kenpachi, and he knew immediately that he should shut up if he values his right hand.

Yachiru giggled slightly. "Hey Yumi-chan, when can you do that mask thing again?" she asked, staring at the Shinigami who had perfect hair. He smiled gracefully, not a hair going out of place. Ikkaku rolled his eyes at his best friend's behavior.

"Why Lieutenant, we can do it today if you wish," Yumichika answered, taking a bite of his waffles. "Wait. Are these waffles fat-free? Oh my goodness! I'm not supposed to have morning carbs!!!" Yumichika immediately pushed his pancakes to the side and took a drink of his milk, then stopped again. "Augh! I'm lactose intolerant!!!" Yumichika then proceeded to curl up into a ball and suck his thumb violently. Ikkaku and Yachiru both stared and continued eating their breakfast.

Aizen laughed at the display. "You all are so amusing," he mused, running his hand through his...beautiful...brown...hair... "Too bad I left Seretei. I hate to miss all this excitement." He grabbed his BIG HOE and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

Uryu and Nemu sat beside each other, watching all the arguing that was taking place. Uryu pushed up his glasses, trying to look cool in front of his girlfriend. She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Uryu, you don't have to pretend to be cool. We all know that life as we know it would cease to exist if you were popular," Nemu said bluntly.

Shunsui looked through his book of flowers and looked at Nanao. "Nanao-chan, I'm missing the most beautiful flower..." he whined, closing his book. Nanao was surprised. What flower _didn't_ Shunsui Kyoraku have?

"What is it, sir?" Nanao asked, hoping that the flower wouldn't be somewhere in the Amazon forest on top of a cliff and if you grabbed it you would be cursed by some stupid snake god and you would eventually land into some foreign cave and you would eventually die because of lack of food or because the natives killed you and used you pelt as a rug or as a tablecloth for their rock tables. She _reall_y hoped it wasn't that type of flower...

"You of course, Nanao-chan," he answered, and she blushed madly. He saw her at a loss for words and he chuckled lightly.

Rangiku and Gin both sat at the table and hummed their favorite song. Rangiku took a bite of her waffles and Gin and Rangiku both cracked up. Toshiro's head turned to face them.

"What's so funny about waffles?" he asked, and they laughed even harder.

"It's an inside joke, Captain," Rangiku laughed, wiping a tear from her eye. Toshiro sighed and went back to Momo. He saw her holding a butter knife and was alarmed. Who knows what a crazy, unstable girl could do with waffles, a butter knife, and a lot of maple syrup?

"Put the knife down, Momo," Toshiro said calmly, trying not to anger her. He saw foam coming out of her mouth and he approached her cautiously. "Let's just talk thise over rationally..."

Momo's hand shot into the air! She held the knife. He could hear her mumbling something about "This is it, Shiro-chan! I can't take this anymore!" When Momo almost hit the poor boy, a tranquilizer dart came flying through the air. It hit Momo, and the girl landed on the table with a thump. Toshiro sighed, and wiped his brow that was covered with perspiration.

Breakfast went on like that, everybody talking to their respective friend. Everyone except for Tosen. He was currently getting mobbed by fan girls. "I'M NOT BARRACK OBAMA!!! PLEASE!!!" he screamed before getting dragged into the mountain of girls...

_Are you craving waffles now? Who shot the tranquilizer dart? Would you help or hurt Tosen? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA Get Away."_


	9. Yachiru and Yumichan's Salon

**CHAPTER 9:**

**YACHIRU AND YUMI-CHAN'S HAIR SALON**

Yumichika looked around the breakfast table with pure disgust written all over on his face. Yachiru looked up from her waffles to stare at the man that she admired. "What's wrong, Yumi-chan?" she asked, laughing a bit at his pallet of looks. She tensed up when he turned around to face her. He had a look of pure determination in his eyes.

"It's horrible, Lieutenant! Everyone in here is so...ugly. Everyone except for you and I," he said with a flip of his hair. Yachiru thought her heart would stop beating when she saw that.

"Oh. Well, what can we do?" she asked, dreading the answer. She could take the face mask, but she couldn't stand someone messing with her hair. She had grown it out a little since then, so it was a little harder to manage.

"We can start by having everyone get in a big line," he answered, grabbing out his pimp bag. Yachiru felt bad for everyone, especially Ikkaku. She didn't know why, but she figured that Yumichika could do more harm to a bald man than to a man that had a head full of hair.

In a matter if minutes, everyone was in a big line. Yumichika looked at them, his fine eye finding more and more faults in people.

"Okay. I'm going to start off by saying that you're all very ugly people," he said bluntly.

Yachiru sighed. She knew that this was _not_ going to end well...

"But," Yumichika went on,"I can help you overcome your ugliness..." Yachiru looked at the people. She felt bad for them...

It didn't take long for Yumichika to finish with half the people. The looks horrified Yachiru. Kenpachi's hair was died purple, and had a comb-over. Yachiru couldn't stand to see Kenny like that. Ichigo's hair was shaggy, and was painted a very nice color of...NEON GREEN!?!?!? Yachiru cringed. Uryu's hair was...unspeakable... And Ikkaku's bald head was transformed into an afro that had streaks of pink and blue in it. Yachiru liked Ikkaku better with no hair.

"Yumi-chan" Yachiru didn't want to be mean, but this was too far!

"Yes, Lieutenant?" he asked.

"Everybody only looks worse! Baldy should stay a baldy!"

"You're right. Only I can be pretty! I must stay the only beautiful person!" Yumichika embraced the thought. Yachiru looked at him. He might've been full of himself, he might've been rude at times, he might've even gotten on her nerves a couple of times, but she still enjoyed him around her. She enjoyed everyone, but she'd rather Ikkaku without an afro.

Yumichika laughed but looked at her. "To tell you the truth, Lieutenant, I think you have the prettiest hair," he said.

Yachiru laughed to herself. Did he mean it? She felt her heart skip a beat.

Meanwhile, something hit Ikkaku. It wasn't hard, but it was there. It wasn't anything you could see, but he could. His eyes widened at the content of the invisible item. He stood on top of a table. "EVERYONE!!! I HAVE HAD A PROPHECY! YACHIRU KUSAJISHI AND YUMICHIKA AYASEGAWA WILL BE A COUPLE IN LESS THAN FIFTEEN YEARS!!!" Ikkaku proclaimed.

So, in the morning's time, Yumichika and Yachiru were both a bright shade of red, everyone was still washing hair dye out of their hair, and Ikkaku was lying on the ground after Kenpachi had beaten him senseless after his outburst. It was a _very_ productive morning...

_Will Yumichika and Yachiru get together in the future? Do you want Yumichika to do your hair? Do you feel bad for Ikkaku? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA Get Away."_


	10. Kenny, WHAT DID YOU DO!

**CHAPTER 10:**

**KENNY, WHAT DID YOU DO?!**

Yachiru raced down the hallway after hearing Yumichika call her and tell her that there was an emergency. She was worried. What if Baldy had gotten his head stuck in the toilet again? She ran to the room where he was, and grabbed out the room key. Upon entering, she saw Ikkaku and Yumichika pacing strangely. Yachiru looked at them questionably. Yumichika ran over to her when he saw that she had arrived. He looked distressed.

"Lieutenant!!! This is horrible! The Captain hasn't sparred with anyone today, and I'm fairly worried!" Yumichika yelled, as he flipped his hair. Ikkaku rambled on about his prophecy, and Yumichika threw a hair brush at his face. Yachiru tilted her head.

"Kenny hasn't been actin' weird, but now that you mention it, I guess he is a little...un-Kennyish," Yachiru replied.

"Right! So I need you to go see what's up with him. He won't kill you," Yumichika said, giving her a small video camera to pin onto her outfit. Yachiru sighed, knowing that this wasn't going to end well...

Yachiru walked into Kenpachi's room silently. She didn't want to make herself seen too quickly. She looked around the room, trying to look for any weapon/torture devices. She found none. Yachiru was puzzled, but didn't see what Yumi-chan and Baldy were so distressed about. What she saw next scared the living crap outta her.

It was a hair tie! Kenpachi didn't keep his hair with a hair tie, and beside it she found a bell. Yachiru thought the worst case scenario first. "KENNY'S BEEN MURDERED!!!" she yelled, noticing a red liquid on the floor. The little girl cried hysterically, looking around the room. It was a mess, a sure sign of a struggle. The bed was completely outta whack, which only meant that Kenny had been...defiled...during his assault.

Yumichika and Ikkaku looked at the room through the video camera after Yachiru had brought it back and thought the same thing.

"I...wow..." Yumichika muttered, looking at the "crime scene" before them. Ikkaku was sniffling, and was again shut up by a hair brush.

They all sat there, not quite sure of what had just happened, but knowing that they were not happy.

The door opened, and Kenpachi walked in, messing with a bell on the top of his head. He was fine. Yachiru, Yumichika, and Ikkaku all looked like deer caught in ten foot high headlights. Yachiru immediately climbed onto his back.

They all spoke at once, rambling on about the crime scene, the blood, the struggle. All of these made Kenpachi turn a deeper shade of red.

"What's wrong, Kenny?" Yachiru asked, not aware that Kenpachi had made a horrible, yet satisfying mistake the night before. He didn't want to tell anyone, hoping that the matter wouldn't get worse. But it had. Kenpachi Zaraki and Retsu Unohana had done the unspeakable the night before.

**FLASHBACK**

Kenpachi walked down to the lobby. He was tired, but he wanted to see if the bellboy would spar with him. (The boy ran off screaming bloody murder) He saw a beautiful-haired woman. She had very long hair, which he had a secret fetish for. She looked at him, and smiled kindly. He blushed, and she laughed sweetly. He thought she looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it.

"What's wrong, Captain Zaraki?" she asked. How did she know him? He couldn't know anyone this pretty.

"Nothing," he replied, at a loss for many words.

They talked for a little, and apparently he had a _small_ charm. Because, after a while, they were making love in his bedroom. Only after had he found out who she was, and he knew that he was a dead man.

**END**

"Kenny, what did you do?!" Yachiru demanded. Kenpachi explained it, and Ikkaku fell over from shock. Yumichika sat there, unsure of what to say to the spiky-haired captain.

"Well," Yumichika said after a while,"You've got to be a gentleman and if anything comes from it, you've got to be just as good of a father to the Lieutenant as you are to this baby," Yumichika advised him. Kenpachi nodded, knowing that he was saying the right thing.

All in all, a _lot_ of people were pregnant, not just Unohana, Yumichika was banned from having a hair salon, and Ikkaku was a new prophet.

_Will there be a threequel to this? Are they going back to Seretei soon? Why do I ask you questions that I do not attempt to answer? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: GOTTA Get Away."_

_A.N.: Yes, I am planning on a threequel. I am not giving any hints about it, but if all goes according to plan, there will be a "Vacation: Wish it would ALWAYS End." I make no promises._


	11. Going Home

**CHAPTER 11:**

** GOING HOME**

Rukia sighed as she and Ichigo walked down to the lobby. She would miss it here, and she didn't know if she should tell him about...the baby. She had just figured out the other day, and she didn't know if he would be happy or angry. She even tried asking the Magic Conch. As usual, it said something useless.

Ichigo looked over at her. _She's hiding something..._ he thought, but decided to not say anything yet. Rukia looked over and smiled at him.

Nemu knew. She had known that this was going to happen. She had taken a risk, and now she had to pay the price. She felt good, though. There was going to be another Quincy, and she was going to give birth to it. Her only fear was that her father would experiment on the gift from above. "Thank you," Uryu smiled at her, breaking her away from her thoughts. She looked at him questionably. "For taking a risk. I can feel your riatsu." Nemu was surprised. Maybe Quincies weren't _so_ bad...

Kisuke carried Yoruichi down the steps. She was in cat form, and he had no blessed clue as to why. She was also temperamental. He may be a scientist, but in love standards, he kinda sucked in that department. He would never guess that the Great Yoruichi Shihoin was pregnant. Yoruichi rolled her eyes at the stupidity of the blond man.

Why? Why did Nanao do it? Why did she become...pregnant? She could've avoided this. But, no. She had let Shunsui into her personal bubble, and now his child was living in the bubble.

Shunsui looked over at her. He knew. Knew from her riatsu. It was stronger than before. "I'm sorry..." he muttered. Nanao turned her head to him.

"Sir. I-" Nanao didn't know what to say.

"But, I'll help in whatever way I can," he went on. Nanao could feel her heart skip a beat. Was he serious? She was content. Content with the fact that she had someone who would care for her. For the baby. She smiled warmly at him. He was surprised because Nanao Ise barely ever gave a shred of emotion. He returned the smile.

They both turned around when they heard something fall down the stairs.

"Juu-kun, you've already been to rehab, what now?" Shunsui complained.

"Well, if you two weren't walking so sassafrassin' slow," he answered.

"I'd lay off a bit with the 'Yosemite Sam' thing," Nanao laughed.

Rangiku sighed. Gin had left. AGAIN. There was no hope this time that he was coming back. Good thing he hadn't made her pregnant or he would be SO dead. She saw Toshiro standing there, thinking. He did that a lot, and she walked over to see what was wrong. "What's wrong, Captain?" she asked seriously. Toshiro looked over at her. He sighed.

"All Momo ever talks about is 'Aizen-taicho' this, or 'Please save Aizen-taicho, Shiro-chan.' It gets really annoying sometimes!" Toshiro balled up his fists. Rangiku could see the anger, but said nothing. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't say anything to help, really, all she could do was hurt.

"It'll be okay," was all she said. In a way, it helped.

Kenpachi would help Retsu with this...or die trying. He knew that he wouldn't hear the end of it from Yachiru, and he wasn't in the mood to hear a "beautiful" lecture from Yumichika, and he CERTAINLY wasn't about to let Ikkaku ramble on with one of his prophecies. He was going to do the right thing, which was something he detested doing. But there Retsu was, walking beside the guy.

Byakuya looked at the Magic Conch. He knew that Rukia was pregnant, and he was trying to figure out what to do next. "Oh Magic Conch, what do you want me to do? I could boil Ichigo in hot oil, or I could rip the skin off his bones or possibly I could-"

"Nothing."

"ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!!!" Byakuya screamed as he sat on the carpet in the lobby. And did nothing. The others got bored and just left him there.

On the way back, everyone told. There were hugs, there were kisses, and there were questions that just needed not be answered. All in all, it was a good day.

"Guys?" a poor, shredded up looking Tosen asked from a big pile of girls. "Guys?"

The BIG HOE sighed. "Well, I may not have Kurosaki-kun, but I do have 'Prince Charming,'" she smiled, a real one. Hey, as long as she was out of Ichigo's hair, she and Aizen could make as much love as they so wished...

_Are you ready for a threequel? Will Tosen ever be saved? Have I ever answered one question that I ask you? Find out on the the threequel...you'll know the name soon enough..._

_I would like to thank all the people who commented. I would especially like to thank RavenRocks for their support through the entire story._


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